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The Large Metropolis
Released September 19, 1924 Starring * Farina * Jackie * Joe * Mary * Mickey * Pineapple Story The gang is playing in a bootlegger’s barn when they are discovered and he chases them out. He drops a cigarette in the hay, which begins to smolder. The gang returns to look for their dog, and upon seeing the fire, try to douse it with a canister of whiskey, which they thought was water. With the fire now ranging, they run and hide in an empty boxcar on the nearby railroad tracks. The dog is left behind when a train engine bumps the boxcar, latching onto it and causing the door to slam shut, locking the rascals in. The train makes it from Culver City, a Los Angeles suburb, to San Francisco the next morning. When someone opens the boxcar door, they faint at the unexpected sight of six kids in grass skirts. The gang jumps down to find themselves in a railroad yard, and can’t resist climbing onto a cable car. They start it, and it takes off, going faster and faster until it reaches a speed of sixty miles per hour. It zips up and down hills, terrifying many pedestrians and vehicle drivers. It finally comes to the end of the line near the coast, where the gang gets off and wanders around. They are soon apprehended because the description of runaway kids wearing grass skirts makes them stand out. The gang is handcuffed and marched a mile to a police station, much to Pineapple’s annoyance. He is worried that he can’t reach and adjust his grass skirt if necessary. “How can you be so calm being handcuffed in only a grass skirt?” he asks. Farina answers in a matter-of-fact tone. “Guess we’re used to it. Happens to us all the time.” “It never happened to me! What are you talking about?” “There was that time the magician tricked us in his magic show, and a couple times the cops got us when we were doing something they didn’t like.” “What kind of gang have I gotten myself mixed up in?” At the police station, the officer notifies the gang that their parents have been told what the kids have done and that they will get spankings when they get back. “In that case, I’d rather not go back,” commented Jackie. “Spankings hurt when you’re only wearing grass skirts.” “Where do you think you can stay here? The only place suited for you is the military prison at Alcatraz.” “We had military ranks when we were playing war,” pipes up Joe. “Can we vote on this?” asks Mickey. “Sure.” The officer doesn’t believe him. “You can go home now to face justice, or spend thirty days in Alcatraz.” “Ooh, we’d miss school, and I wouldn’t have to take care of my baby sister,” notes Mary. Pineapple is hesitant to vote, but the rest of gang votes to stay in Alcatraz. They are promptly ushered in boats to the island, and put into unused cells on one end. The state doesn’t feel like paying for prison uniforms, so they remain in grass skirts for the month. Pineapple is a bit shocked at the turn of events, but with his new friends’ acceptance, concludes that this isn’t so bad. Notes * Spoof of: The Big Town * Previous Film: The Love Bughouse * Next Film: Circus Feverish Category:Spoof Films